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70+ D&D Pick Up Lines – Funny, Cheesy, Flirty & Dirty

Excellent! Nat 20 on your Persuasion check to flirt with the Captain of the Guards. But now you have to actually say something suave… uh-oh.

We’ve got the perfect pick up lines for your epic Charisma rolls! Equip yourself with funny, cheesy, flirty come-ons by reading our 70+ D&D pick up lines. AKA How to Pick Up Dragons in a Dungeon!

A D&D character being charmed by a pick up line
A D&D character being charmed by a D&D pick up line

In Game D&D Pickup Lines

These are our favorites for using in-game! Looking for IRL DnD pick up lines? We’ve got those too, later on in this article!

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D&D Pick Up Lines for Bards

As the party face, it’s just natural for Bards to also be the party flirt! Though any of the fine and sundry pick up likes in this article could work for your Bard, here are a few with this magical minstrel class in mind.

  • There’s more music & magic in your smile than in my lyre! I am your humble servant, mistress/master
  • All valor & virtue is confined within thy heart, and I but a humble acolyte
  • The music of the spheres is not so ravishing as your voice!
  • There is no treasure in all of Faerun like you, fair one
  • O thou the dear inflamer of my eyes,
    Life of my soul and heart’s eternal prize!
  • Your beauty is deserving of masterful poetry – my meager words could never suffice!
  • Not with every spell in the Arcane Tradition could I rival the magic of your eyes!
  • I went to Bardic College, good sir/lady, so I really know how to use my tongue…

Funny D&D Pick Up Lines

  • Is that a longsword you’re equipped with, or are you just happy to see me?
  • What plane are you from? Cuz you are out of this world!
  • Why don’t you come back to my place tonight and I’ll show you my Wand of Wonder/Staff of the Python/Immovable Rod?
  • Do you believe in love at first sight? Or would you like me to walk by again?
  • I don’t remember casting Summon Celestial, but here you are
  • As an elf/half-elf normally I’m immune to being charmed… but in your case I think I’ll make an exception
  • Don’t worry, babe; I’m a lover and a fighter
  • Feel my tunic. Nice, right? Know what it’s made from? Boyfriend/girlfriend material
  • Mage Hand gives me 5 extra, magic fingers – if you know what I mean
  • Besides being gorgeous, what do you do in town?
  • Dang, boy/girl. If you were words in a spellbook you’d be the fine print!
  • I took the Endurance feat, which means I can go all night long
  • Damn baby, we won’t need to cast Stone Skin to make this bedrock!
  • My Monk friend taught me some of the Quivering Palm technique… wanna see how it works?
  • Excuse me for not introducing myself earlier, but your beauty knocked me prone when you came into the room!
  • Girl/boy, you are positively divine – I’m taking radiant damage just standing here

Best D&D Pick Up Lines

And by “best” we really mean more cheesy D&D pick up lines than you can shake a lute at. This list is sure to get some groans, but hopefully some successful Persuasion checks, too!

  • You are as glorious as the noontide sun!
  • A kiss is but a minute’s joy… shall we make a night of it?
  • Your words are as sweet as the breath of lyres. Pray, sing on!
  • Grant me leave to be like unto your shade – always by your side!
  • Your face is as welcome as light to day, as health to sick men
  • The ocean is not more boundless than your favors!
  • You are the star I reach toward – I wear you in my heart
  • Celestial beauty, with thy ambrosial kisses bathe my lips!
  • The sun never met the summer with more joy than I have met you!
  • Your eyes are orbs of stars – they put the night sky to shame
  • Your wit is as nimble as your tongue; your words have charmed my very soul!
  • The unblown rose, the crystal, nor the diamond, are not more pure than you
  • It is a paradise enjoying your company
  • You have offered me an honor impossible to requite by granting me the happiness of your company this day
  • Others to you are like glimmering stars compared to the full moon
  • Tis my duty to obey your fair commands – you are the only person I have ambition to honor
  • You are the star by which my fate is led
  • You are beauty without parallel; in your face all the Graces, and your mind all the Virtues are met
  • Those that look upon your face, were they even the most savage of monsters, would derive a new nature from your beauty

Shakespearean D&D Pick-Up Lines

Words to woo by, plucked directly from Shakespeare’s many romantic plays. The great Bard’s style fits perfectly in a D&D game!

  • You have witchcraft in your lips
  • I would not wish
    Any companion in the world but you
  • Thou art as wise as thou are beautiful
  • By the roses of the spring,
  • By maidenhood, truth, honor, and everything,
    I love thee so
  • O beauty,
    Till now I never knew thee
  • Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
    Thou art more lovely and more temperate
  • Hot blood begets hot thoughts, and hot
    thoughts beget hot deeds, and hot deeds is love
  • I do love you more than words can wield the matter,
    Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty
  • Did my heart love til now? Foreswear it, sight!
    For I ne’er saw true beauty til this night
  • How do I love you?
    With adorations, fertile tears,
    With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire
  • I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes
  • Hear my soul speak:
    The very instant I saw you, did
    My heart fly to your service; there resides,
    To make me slave to it
  • I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?
  • Doubt thou the stars are fire,
    Doubt that the sun doth move,
    Doubt truth to be a liar,
    But never doubt I love
  • Your bum is the greatest thing about you

And for all you theatrical overachievers, here’s a short scene from Twelfth Night with which you can absolutely drown your intended in melodrama & plush romance:

Olivia: What would you [if you loved me]?

Viola: Make me a willow cabin at your gate
And call upon my soul within the house,
Write loyal cantons of contemnèd love
And sing them loud even in the dead of night,
Hallow your name to the reverberate hills
And make the babbling gossip of the air
Cry out “OLIVIA!” O, you should not rest
Between the elements of air and earth
But you should pity me.

Act 1 Scene 5, Twelfth Night

The 1996, Trevor Nunn directed film of Twelfth Night is particularly fertile with flowery pick up lines and comedy gems. Bards and would be woo-ers will certainly learn a thing or two from it.

IRL D&D Pick Up Lines

Trying to dazzle a real-life nerd, geek, or board game lover with your wit & romantic flare? We’ve got pick up lines for you to use out of game too.

  • Are you a Paladin? Because you can lay your hands on me anytime!
  • Do you know Charm Person? Because you are enchanting me with your eyes!
  • Who needs a Cleric when I’ve got your sweet smile? Your face alone could Greater Restoration and restore my hit points!
  • Are you an Arcane Trickster? Because you’ve stolen my heart and bewitched me!
  • Hey baby, what’s your armor class? Because I wanna hit that
  • Are you a Bard? Because you’re playing on my heartstrings like a master
  • Where is the Cleric that summoned you, angel? I want to thank them!
  • Are you a mimic? Because that chest is too good to be true!
  • Hey cutie, wanna come back to mine and slip into something with a lower armor class?
  • Are you a Druid? Because I’ve got an animal that needs handling… in my pants
  • I’d Polymorph into a Beholder if it meant I could be holding you!
  • Wanna come back to mine, then go prone and grapple each other?
  • Did it hurt when you fell through that portal in the Celestial Plane?
  • Hey baby, can I put my Rod of Lordly Might in your Bag of Holding?
  • I put on my robe and wizard hat.

More D&D One Liners for Bards

Most Bards want to bring love to the world. But sometimes you gotta use the sharp edge of your wit and fire off some Cutting Words to demoralize a foe – knock down a high monster roll or reduce damage. That’s why we collected 100+ Cutting Words Insults & Vicious Mockery Insults for Bards!

Need a refresher on the Bardic ability? Cutting Words 5e D&D Explained + Examples has you covered.

And for the lighter side of Bardic life, see our 100+ D&D Jokes Only Real Fans Will Get!

A note – 70+ D&D Pick Up Lines

Have you ever gotten tongue-tied at a pivotal role-playing moment? Needed something clever, saucy, or even just cheesily romantic to really sell your Persuasion check but all you got is crickets?

Never fear! With these 70+ D&D pick up lines you’ll be ready for any in-game or IRL encounter with a beautiful humanoid. We compiled our favorite coquetry here so you can keep calm and flirt on, adventurers.

To accompany your charming words, how about a gift for your sweet one? See our favorite DnD Gift Ideas to find the perfect thing!

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Hi, I’m Emily, the tabletop gamer behind My Kind of Meeple. If this article helped you, I’d be honoured if you’d say, “Thanks!” with a £3 coffee on Ko-fi.

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